North Korea, Best Korea!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
