Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
