But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
