Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
