she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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