a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
