About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
my liver is dry heaving
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
