What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We need a shit load of segways right now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
