The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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