from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize