But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
