I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
