You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize