i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
