im about as happy as oj after his trial
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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