I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dick very happy bro
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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