so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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