Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
