I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
