Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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