I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
