She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
