Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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