There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
