You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize