the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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