Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
