Well douche your snatch and let's go!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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