is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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