Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
