im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
