So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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