I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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