Nicole vs. Life
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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