You smell like stripper and shame
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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