bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
