So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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