Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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