I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
