It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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