oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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