Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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