do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
