420 ftw
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize