Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
