I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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