They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
