You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
