Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
