I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Two words: blizzard sex
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
