Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
