dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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