I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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