they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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