Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
