Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize