Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
