speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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