your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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