how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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