Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
