I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
