Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
