Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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