i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize