i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm getting married
To pizza
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
