Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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