I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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