there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
