You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
