Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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