New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
